I’m taking a few days off work at the moment to get a bunch of things done that I don’t really have time for usually. One of the things on today’s list was to buy some jeans. A couple of pairs of jeans that I had before would fit me on ‘good days’ but mostly they were too tight and uncomfortable.
So today I set out to buy a couple of new pairs in a size that fit. There’s nothing like looking at yourself in a change room mirror to really test your focus on Intuitive Eating and body positivity and not wanting to change what you eat based on what your body looks like. Especially when the comparison you start doing against all the others in the shop leaves you feeling pretty darn inadequate.
I’m glad that I went in feeling good. As I said, I’ve had a couple of days off and I’ve been checking things off my list and the sun was shining so I was feeling pretty happy and relaxed. That certainly helped but I still started doubting myself, my worth and everything I’m doing at the moment.
I’m also glad that I’ve been listening to a bunch of Intuitive Eating podcasts as I had downloaded all the available episodes of Food Psych. So I kept reminding myself to think about how I feel physically at the moment rather than the shape of my body. I’ve been running 3 x per week and doing a 30 minute strength workout 3 x per week and feeling great during both. I’ve also noticed my fitness in between times, climbing stairs or running to public transport, is pretty good. I managed to mostly replace the negative messages with helpful ones.
I’m still tempted to start bringing back some food rules, but I know that’s not for the best. I’ve also just enrolled in Christy Harrison’s 13 week Intuitive Eating course, because I know that I need some help reinforcing the concepts. I’m pretty sure that this is something I want to be doing for the rest of my life, so I figured it was worth the investment. Today’s challenge has made it clear to me that I was right to think I need reinforcement. There’s still a way to go before I can truly call myself an Intuitive Eater.